Windows 98 Source Code

The code that makes Windows 98 tik.. 😉

Original Author: Riaan Aspeling

Inputs

Any Intel PC

Assumptions

Think before you install this.. 😉

Returns

Lots of junk

Side Effects

Plenty

API Declarations

Code

/*
               TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
               Project: Chicago(tm)
               Projected release-date: Summer 1994
               */

               #include "win31.h"
               #include "win95.h"
               #include "evenmore.h"
               #include "oldstuff.h"
               #include "billrulz.h"
               #define INSTALL = HARD

               char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

               void main()
               {
               while(!CRASHED)
               {
               display_copyright_message();
               display_bill_rules_message();
               do_nothing_loop();

               if (first_time_installation)
               {
               make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
               do_nothing_loop();
               totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
               search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
               hang_system();
               }

               write_something(anything);
               display_copyright_message();
               do_nothing_loop();
               do_some_stuff();

               if (still_not_crashed)
               {
               display_copyright_message();
               do_nothing_loop();
               basically_run_windows_3.1();
               do_nothing_loop();
               do_nothing_loop();
               }
               }

               if (detect_cache())
               disable_cache();

               if (fast_cpu())
               {
               set_wait_states(lots);
               set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
               set_mouse(action, jumpy);
               set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
               }

               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
               /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */

               printf("Welcome to Windows 98");

               if (system_ok())
               crash(to_dos_prompt);
               else
               system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

               while(something)
               {
               sleep(5);
               get_user_input();
               sleep(5);
               act_on_user_input();
               sleep(5);
               }

               create_general_protection_fault();